Sleepless Nights
by LudwigsLass
Summary: Elizaveta, alone and a bit stressed in her room at Roderich's house, can't sleep, so she sneaks over to Gilbert's, not entirely sure how he'll help, but feeling as if he will. PruHun. Fluff.


Elizaveta sat alone in her dark, silent bedroom. The hour was late, and she could not sleep.

She sighed, sinking further into the pillows she had stacked behind her and sliding down into the sheets a bit. Laying her head back she closed her eyes, not in an effort to sleep, but to think, to feel.

Thoughts that had been plaguing her for some time were managing to manifest themselves all at once, with no events of day to keep them withheld.

She gripped the sheets with a frustrated fist. She hated feeling this way, so vulnerable and weak. She had been raised to be strong, and she held true to that part of herself most days, but, now, here she sat, swallowed in her own emotion, all alone in a dark room, unsure and afraid, afraid of how much she felt, afraid of how she felt, afraid to act on it, and a little, innocent portion of her afraid of how alone she was, wishing with a childish heart for someone to hold her.

The only other person currently present in the large, empty house was Roderich, and this brought her no other comfort other than knowing the plain fact that she wasn't technically alone, but she felt that way nonetheless.

She had shared a house with him for countless years, and though they had certainly had their times of joy, and maybe even a bit of affection, she was feeling less and less close to him as time went on. He had never directly intended to hurt her, though many of his strict, proper ways had left her feeling bound to the ladylike qualities she did possess, and chained out of reach of the person she truly felt she was, who she felt she could be, no, who she knew she could be.

She had no direct hatred towards the man, he was truly someone of reasonable decency, and he played wonderful music which she had always loved to hear. He always tried to treat her with kindness, though he did reprimand her from time to time, and he provided her with the best he could offer, even showing small signs of adoration from time to time, but she did not love him.

However, she felt she truly had no other option but to stay here, locked away, she being the only one who knew she was imprisoned. She could leave if she really wanted to, but what good would it do. She knew how much it would hurt Roderich if she left because of him. Before, that had been much of what made her want to stay. Though she felt no romantic love for him, he had cared for her most of her life. Without him she would truly have been alone long ago. Now, however, a part of her was starting not to care as much, and perhaps it was due to the fact that lately she had found an odd amount of comfort in someone else.

His name was Gilbert, and he was the most narcissistic, positively uncouth idiot she swore she'd ever met, an exact opposite of the Austrian she had housed with all this time, yet, she couldn't help but look at his life with wonder.

He was so free, so rash, able to do as he pleased with no restriction or shame, and maybe, just maybe, that's something like what she desired, freedom, the ability to express who she was without fear. She envied his ability to do so, and that is how she had classified her feelings for him, envy, but as she lay there in the dark, she found herself wishing that Envy was at her side. Though he was a near insufferable mess, she sensed, no, she'd witnessed that he possessed a more sufferable side. He was kind when he wished to be, though he tried his best to hide it, and she liked that about him. Little did she truly know that much of those things she found so remarkably insufferable about him, came from a part of him that suffered.

* * *

She lay there, finding that her eyes were threatening to release tears, and as she fought to hold them back she made her decision. She was not laying here alone tonight; she was going to him. She knew, due to some rather awkward past circumstances, where he lived, and she couldn't possibly stand to be in this house for another minute.

She tried to push her somber moping aside and stood a bit defiantly up from her bed, not bothering to change out of her nightgown but simply putting a jacket over it and sliding on a pair of boots. She made her way as silently as possible out the front door, closing it with a sigh behind her and looking out into the dark of the night. There was no way she was turning back now; she was doing what she felt she wanted to do.

She pulled her jacket together and tucked her bare hands into her pockets. The air felt nice enough, but the wind shuffled the bottom of her thin night gown and gave her a slight chill.

She considered for a moment that perhaps this wasn't the best clothing choice for a middle-of-the-night visit to Gilbert, one who had been known to be distracted by womanly appearance, but it honestly was not of top concern. If he didn't have the decency to look past her silky nightgown she'd simply throw the nearest household object fit for chucking in his direction and leave. She hoped, though, that would not be the case. If it was she truly had no idea what she would do.

She walked somewhat speedily along the street, realizing she'd neglected to bring any weaponry, a sign that she was indeed acting rather impulsively, but she didn't care. If anyone tried anything she still had her fighting skills and a scream that, though she hated to admit it, would likely shatter every lamppost within range.

Still yet, she was thankful that his house wasn't terribly far, for despite the soft glow of the various lamp post and the almost comforting sounds of a distant street, she felt a bit uneasy, as if the open space further exposed her emotions, worsening her feeling of vulnerability.

Finally, she reached his door, and with a somewhat hesitant hand she reached for him doorbell, pressing it quickly and looking nervously at his door mat. She waited for a moment, hearing no sounds of response. She knew he must be asleep, she knew that before she'd headed over here, but only a very small piece of her felt guilty about waking him, the rest of her was desperate for whatever she had come seeking.

She reached for the little white button again, pressing it and biting her lip with a bit of impatience, hoping she wasn't making some kind of mistake. She relaxed a bit when she heard footsteps coming her way, accompanied by a bit of disgruntled murmuring.

Gilbert opened the door, showing no signs of caution or even irritation, likely because he was barely awake as he did so. He stood there in a pair of red plaid boxers and an old band t-shirt that looked like he'd been holding onto it since he was a teen. He squinted at the light from a lamp he'd flicked on in the living room, running his hand sleepily through an even more messy than usual mane of white hair.

"Who the fu.." he yawned a bit, rubbing the back of his neck, and as he looked up his face almost instantly became more alert, and also quite confused.

"Liza…wha-what are you doing here?" He glanced back to a digital clock in his living room. "It's freaking like 3am."

"I know that you idiot do you think I don't know how to read a clock." She sighed slightly at her rudeness and frustration. How was she supposed to tell him why she came without sounding like an absolute wimp?

"Hey, hey take it easy, ja? I just woke up alright."

"I know." She said, clearing her throat a bit. "I uh-I came because I-"

His face held back an annoying little suggestive smirk. She saw it. She stopped and growled slightly in frustration at both him and herself.

"I came because I couldn't sleep okay!" She said suddenly, and Gilbert seemed a bit surprised for a second, but almost instantly replaced his shock and any sign of conern with his usual sly smirk.

"And I suppose you thought some alone time with zhe awesome Prussia could fix that, ja?"

"Ugh! Fine, you know what, forget it."

Elizaveta turned to leave and Gilbert instantly regretted what he'd said. Why did he always have to act so stupid?

"No! Wait!" He said as she had started to make her way off of his porch steps.

She turned, looking at him with a bit of a scowl, waiting for him to say something to change her mind.

"I'm-um-sorry…will you come in?"

She wanted to say no, tell him he was a hopeless, ignorant playboy, and leave, but she knew she'd regret it. She hadn't walked all this way for nothing; she had to give him a chance. Besides, it was either that or go straight back into the house she'd just practically fled.

She walked back to the door without a word, pushing past him and seating herself on his couch, looking down at her lap, having no idea how to address her reason for coming, and only barely knowing what that reason was in the first place.

Gilbert closed the door awkwardly and looked at her for a moment.

He had only really spoken with Elizaveta, or Liza, as he often called her because her name was a bit wordy, and it also seemed to bring a bit of a smile to her face, though that smile was usually almost instantly replaced with a look of annoyance, which he enjoyed as well.

He rather enjoyed her in general to be honest. Though he knew very little about her other than she was cooped up in that big fancy house with that snooty , but she herself didn't seem very snooty, around him anyway. In fact, around him she became rather violent and almost mean, and when he'd first started to get to know her, he thought she must be just as strict as that Austria, maybe worse, but the first time he'd actually made her laugh and saw her face light up, turning a bit red as she tried to hold it in, something told him there was more to her. She had a free spirit, just like his, except he guessed hers must be locked up inside.

Considering all of this, he was indeed very shocked to open the door at such an hour and find her standing before him, her figure draped in a thin nightgown and covered in a large jacket, her boots further complimenting her oddly unconcerned appearance, and her hair adorably unkempt. He remained just as puzzled as he stood there while she sat slumped into his sofa.

She seemed very distraught for sure; something was bothering her, but what? And why had she come here of all places to cope, unless-unless she was running from something, or someone, and here was the closest place she could come. He felt a sudden surge of anger rise in his veins at the thought. That damned Roderich better have not hurt her. He knew the man was a bit uptight, but he'd never pictured him doing anything abusive. He'd better not have even thought about it, or he'd march down there and make him floss with his own piano strings. Perhaps it'd be wise to being his brother along…

"Gilbert." Elizaveta's voice came from the couch, jolting the albino out of his spacious contemplation.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at me or are you going to ask me why I'm here?"

"No-I-I wasn't." He sighed and walked over towards the couch, sitting a safe distance away from her, not too close, but close enough that he didn't seem like he was scared to touch her.

She looked a bit sidelong at him, her arms resting on her barely covered knees, and her fawn colored hair draping itself about her shoulders, covering part of her face.

"So um, why are you here?" Gilbert asked a bit awkwardly.

She pushed her hair back and sat up. Gilbert tried his best not to look at her now somewhat exposed legs, knowing she'd likely throw something at him, instead he struggled to focus his eyes on her face, not exactly a terrible view.

"I-" she sighed, crossing her arms and taking a glance up to the ceiling.

Why was it that she'd really come here? To share her feelings with the sleepy brat that sat across from her? No, not really. She didn't really want to tell him how she felt, though, she didn't really want to share her feeling with anyone. She'd never been much of one to discuss those things. She wasn't sure why she just didn't feel comfortable doing so.

Then why was she here? What had she come for? Comfort perhaps? She had no idea how to answer him as he sat there, in his boxers of all clothing, and waited rather patiently for her response.

"Go put some pants on will you!" was the only response she managed.

Gilbert looked a bit surprised for moment, and then nodded awkwardly.

"Uh…ja…okay." He left to go to his room, wondering just what the heck was up with her.

She rolled her eyes at herself as she waited for him to come back. Part of her wanted to just get up and leave to avoid further embarrassment, but she knew she needed to go through with whatever it was she was here for.

Gilbert returned a few moments later, now clothed in a pair of gray pajama pants and holding a blanket.

"I thought you might want this." He said handing her the blanket.

"Thanks." She said quickly, spreading the fabric over her legs, not really looking at him as he stood there a second.

"Could I maybe get you something to eat or drink or whatever?"

She shook her head and he shrugged slightly, sitting himself back down on the couch.

He swallowed. "So there's something bothering you am I right?"

She rolled her eyes and nodded, still not making direct eye contact with him.

"Do you want to tell me what it is?"

"Not really."

"I see."

The both sat awkwardly silent for a moment, and then to both of their surprise, Gilbert started to speak.

"I know we don't really know each other all that well, Liza, and I'm pretty shocked that you decided to come here for…whatever it is, though I gotta say it's pretty awesome that you're in mein house hah..."

She glared at him sideways and he wiped any hint of a smirk from his face.

"I'm just saying, Liz….that it's-it's really okay to tell me what's wrong. I'm not all bad I promise." He chuckled ever so slightly and then sighed. "And if there's one thing I've realized, it's that it's really not good to bottle things up inside."

Liza nibbled thoughtfully on a section of her lower lip, not looking up a him, but he could tell she was contemplating a response.

She observed her hands where they sat in her lap, pieces of her hair slipping back from behind her ears, again placing a thin veil between her and Gilbert.

"I-I just want to be able to be myself." She said finally, her voice a bit raspy.

"What makes you thing you can't? You can act yourself around me, Liz."

"No, no I know...that's not what I'm talking about I-I just...in that house I'm-" she looked forward for a moment, searching for words.

"In that house? Roderich's house? I knew it. What's he done to ya?"

"No!" Elizaveta finally turned her face in Gilbert's direction. "No, it's not him, well, I mean it is him, but Roderich's really a good guy I mean that. It's simply that I-I really just don't feel the freedom to be me around him. Y'know?"

Gilbert nodded slowly. "I think so. He's too stuffy for ya huh? Can't say I blame ya."

Liz chuckled a bit. "Ya I guess you could say that. I don't know I've lived in his house for so many years, and until recently it's never felt like this. I feel like I have to put on an act around him, keep myself poised. That's...not me." She sounded a bit unsure at the last part.

"Pft you're tellin' me." Gilbert said with a small snort and Elizaveta manage a small chuckle herself, smiling a bit.

It was quiet for a moment.

"So, what _is_ you then?"

"Not who I am around Roderich, otherwise I don't know exactly."

"I think I do."

"Oh, do you?" Liz said rather condescendingly.

"I do. From little time you've been in my awesome presence I can see you are a girl who's not afraid to stand up for herself. You're not weak by any means. You are very independent and I'd feel pretty confident taking you into a battle even, you're not someone fit to be cooped up in Austria's stuffy, frilly little nest."

"You really mean that?" She looked at him with almost watery, green eyes.

"Ja I mean it. Why would I say something I didn't mean?" He said a bit flustered.

She smiled, laughing a bit and turning her attention back to another area of the room. "Thanks."

"So uh, do you think you're going to leave then? His house I mean."

She shook her head. "I have no other place to -and I couldn't do that to Roderich I mean-"

"Do you _like_ Roderich Liz?"

"Well, ya, of course I like him. I mean he's kinda uptight but he usually mean well and-"

"No, I mean, do you _love_ him?" Gilbert's tone was rather deliberate and more sincere than Elizaveta was used to hearing it.

She started to speak for a moment, but stopped and shook her head, closing her eyes. "No. No I don't"

"Then why are you staying with him like this and saying you can't even be yourself around the guy. Why keep holding onto to someone you don't love? I don't get it, Liz."

"I've been staying with someone I don't love for far too many years, it doesn't matter any more now than it did then. I have no place to go, Gil. I hate to admit it but I need him. He's my country's support right now, I don't think I can make it on my own, not yet."

Gilbert nodded slowly, understanding where she was coming from. "Well, if you gotta stay with him, why not tell him how you feel? Why just...go on pretending like it's all okay?" His voice stifled a bit at the last line, knowing it should be directed toward himself as well.

"I don't know. I guess-I guess I could try and say something, but I'm scared he'll be angry with me, and besides that have you ever tried negotiating with him?"

They both laughed.

Elizaveta stopped laughing for a moment, looking up at Gilbert. "Thank you." She said sincerely.

Gilbert blinked for a moment. "For?"

"For being here for me. I knew I could trust you." She smiled at him.

"Oh, that, ja don't mention it. Anytime."

She nodded and started to stand,

"Whoa wait where are ya goin'?"

"I gotta get home before Roderich knows I'm gone." She said a bit sadly.

"Oh, I see." He stood and helped her off the couch.

She pulled the blanket off her legs and handed it to him.

"Uh, why don't you hold onto it for awhile." He said with sweet smile.

She nodded and thanked him, throwing it around her shoulders.

He opened the door for her, adjusting the blanket for her on her way out.

"Hey Liz." He said standing near her in the doorway.

She looked back at him.

"If you ever wanna talk, or y'know, maybe have something to eat, whatever, come on over okay? I mean it. I don't care what time it is. Oh! I have an idea."

He gently ushered her over a bit, reaching under the doormat and pulling out a key.

"Take this."

She smiled at him. "Y'know under the mat is probably not the safest place for a spare key."

"Well, now it's with you so it'll be just fine."

She blushed slightly. "Thanks again." She stepped toward him, giving him a warm hug around his waist

Gilbert wrapped his arms around her, not wanting to let her go. He held her for a short, sweet moment before he reluctantly let her go.

"You want me to walk you home?"

She shook her hand as she adjusted the blanket on her shoulders.

"It's best I go alone, just in case."

He nodded and she turned from him.

He watched her as she walked down his driveway, smiling a melancholy smile.

"Take care of yourself, Liz_._" He said quietly as she turned onto the sidewalk.

He turned and went back into his house, watching her out the window until she faded out of sight.

She held tight to his blanket as she walked, appreciating it's warmth, taking in its scent. It was as if Gil himself had an arm wrapped about her, and she smiled, feeling comforted by it.

She entered cautiously through the door of the big, dark house, glad it was silent. She made her way to her room, laid the spare key Gilbert had given her inside a little jewelry box atop her dresser. Sliding off her boots and her coat, she crawled beneath her covers.

She closed her eyes, and with her arms wrapped about Gilbert's blanket, she was able to drift off to sleep.


End file.
